The Feast, it's Ruined — My Quest For Eggo Waffles The Feast, it's Ruined — My Quest For Eggo Waffles

Posted by mradcliffe on 2007.09.13 @ 07:09

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Updated: now with response.

Eggo Waffles

I thought to myself this morning — I want an Eggo Waffle. You see, I have never had one, but have always been interested. There were some in the freezer that Robert had bought, removed from their packaging because of his space-saving ways.

Naturally I found the need to prepare an Eggo Waffle to the correct specifications as I wanted to make sure that I was having the correct Eggo experience (microwave, toast, pan fry, what?). To my surprise the feast was ruined (credit for the title), and breakfast was not magically delicious.

Dear Kellogg’s, I thought to myself this morning — I want an Eggo Waffle. You see, I have never had one, but have always been interested. There were some in the freezer that Robert had bought, removed from their packaging because of his space-saving ways. However I could NOT find any directions on how to actually make an Eggo Waffle. So I thought to myself — Hey, Eggo’s web site might have this pertinent and useful information! To my surprise I found that the Eggo web site was designed like shit. No, I cannot enjoy an Eggo waffle for the first time because I simply do not know the proper instructions. This information is surprisingly absent from a web site. Instead I have useless information thrust into my vision in a flash animated piece of shit. My breakfast appetite is ruined. I am no longer interested in having an Eggo Waffle because your shitty web site design team put me off. This might be humorous to you or your team, but this is no laughing matter to me. I think I will have some General Mills Cheerios instead. Love mradcliffe

You might be amused to find my difficulty with preparing an Eggo Waffle. In my search for deliciousness I did come across one link to enjoy Eggo Waffles, which I admit did look interesting. However I wanted to pursue slightly more official instructions. And I did receive an update from Kellogg’s though it came into my inbox a bit too late in the day for breakfast.

Update: Kellogg’s responded! I bet I made someone’s day.

Thank you for contacting us regarding Eggo® website. The feedback you provided on our website is valuable to us. We will pass along your comments to our advertising and marketing departments. As you know, things change quickly on the web, so we hope you will visit us again to see what’s new! We hope you give our product another opportunity. For future information you can contact us toll free at 1-800-962-1413 so one of our service representatives could answer your questions.

I am quite surprised that Eggo has a toll free number. So whomever comes across this post — if you need to learn “How-To Make an Eggo Waffle” because you’ve never had one before you can call 1-800-962-1413.

Operators are standing by to assist you with your breakfast endeavor.

The final lesson to be learned is that I am grumpy in the mornings. Never get between a Radcliffe and his breakfast.

Imho, the best phrase in their response is “As you know, things change quickly on the web.” I suggest this phrase be heretofore used as frequently as possible in all internet related marketing communications.

Oh, and let me add that I’m superpsyched to see randomadventure-related content back on fdiv! (Not that I’m not equally enthusiastic about all the software patches and whatnot y’all are developing, but it just doesn’t make as tempting of a means of procrastinating.)